Where Have I Been?

   Well, maybe I shouldn't have asked God to bring on the challenges that help us grow, because He must have thought, "Okay, you asked for it....".  2011 has brought us some major glitches in how we thought our life was "supposed" to go. 
   The first one hit us right away, in January, when Shauna and Noah separated.  It is very hard to see your daughter heartbroken.  Perhaps God had prepared me for this so many years ago, because I knew very well the pain she was feeling.  That's the thing about going through tough times.  They give you compassion and insight into other's pain.  As we walked with Shauna through those first really difficult weeks, we said a lot of prayer. 
    So often, things have to get worse before they get better, and it seemed to just keep getting worse.  Divorce papers were filed, police were involved, restraining orders were obtained, court appearances made.  So much ugliness and stress and sadness and grief.  I may have shed nearly as many tears as Shauna did.  And I just wished I could make it different for the boys.  I grieved (and am still grieving) that they will not grow up in a household with both of their parents.  I grieved for their sadness, and the inability of their little brains to understand what was happening and why their world had been turned upside down. I prayed that all the adults in the boys' lives could just put the boys needs first and foremost.  If we could all just do that, I think they will be okay.
    They seem to be used to the arrangement now.  They know that Sundays and Mondays are "Daddy Days" and saying goodbye to Daddy isn't as hard as it was in the beginning, because they know they will see him again soon. Time is a great healer.
   We hope the divorce, the legal portion, will be over soon and everyone can move on to find happiness.  I don't have any experience with divorce (thank you Lord), but I am learning as we continue to walk alongside Shauna and the boys.  I continue to pray for God's guidance and wisdom for each step of the way.  And that hearts will be healed, and forgiveness and GRACE will prevail. 
   Grace was the word I chose for 2011.  The word that I wanted to guide my actions this year. The word I wanted God to teach me about.  I didn't do so well in the beginning, but I am starting to get it Lord.